Studies indicate that narcissism is on the rise (Twenge & Foster, 2010). It appears grandiosity and a hunger for affirmation is trending upwards. This parallels the social media explosion where sending out photos or thoughts to be liked by others is the norm. Entitlement and lack of empathy appears more common today than in previous decades. Some researchers suggest narcissism has risen just as dramatically as obesity (Twenge & Campbell, 2009). There are several implications on a sociological and psychological level regarding the increase in narcissism. One psychological risk is that narcissism may make people prone to severe depression.

The connection between narcissism and depression:

1. Grandiosity: On the surface it may appear that people with grandiose narcissism are self-confident and feel superior to others. However, when they fail to meet grandiose ideals narcissists can feel extremely deflated. Not achieving thwarted dreams about conquering the world and glory can be extremely painful. The cliche “the bigger they are the harder they fall,” applies in situations when narcissistic illusions and ideals meet harsh realities.

 

2. Lack of Satisfaction: Even when narcissists achieve goals they may feel positive for a brief moment, but fall back into depression. The problem is that often a narcissistic personality’s self-esteem is like a gas tank with a hole in it. They are often fueled by success, but cannot hold onto it and need more affirmation to keep going, which can be exhausting as they are chronically feeling like they are running on empty.

 

3. External Approval: Narcissists rely heavily on external approval to support their sense of self. Consequently, they may be hypersensitive to feedback and isolate or refrain from achieving goals to manage failure. While this may work in the short term it can lead to isolation.

 

4. Narcissism and empathy: Narcissists are often self focused and lack empathy. This greatly impacts their interpersonal relationships. Although they may be very charming and initially well liked their connections with others may be superficial leaving them feeling alone in the world. Deep friendships where they feel understood and are truly connected with others may be lacking leading to empty feelings and depression.

Tips for coping:

1. Relationship to goals: You don’t have to decrease goals even if they are grandiose to avoid depression. Nothing would be accomplished without thinking big. However, it can be helpful to alter one’s relationship when goals remain unmet. You can shoot for the stars, but if you fall back to earth and learn not to define yourself by this it can go along way.

 

2. Focusing on others: Developing more meaningful relationships with others can be extremely helpful. Spending time and energy empathizing and understanding the perspective of peers can help to decrease egocentricity and enrich relationships. It may be more fulfilling to be truly connected with others rather than just praised.

 

3. Mindfulness Meditation: Learning how to be present. Narcissists are often focusing on goals regarding the future and neglect to see and take in pleasant experiences right in front of them. Acceptance, a component of mindfulness, can also be a helpful tool. In the myth of Narcissus his death was a result of not accepting his self-reflection was just an image that could not return his love.

References
Twenge, J. M., & Foster, J. D. (2010). Birth cohort increases in narcissistic personality traits among American college students, 1982-2009,” Social Psychological and Personality Science 1, 99-106.

Twenge, J. M., & Campbell.W, K (2010). The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. New York: Atria Paperback