Why them? Why not me? The quiet whisper of envy grows into a gnawing hum as you work tirelessly, only to feel overshadowed by others’ success. You’ve sacrificed, strived, and pushed—yet someone else seems to have it easier and better. Their success and recognition are reminders of your invisibility. If I don’t push harder, I’ll fall behind. If I stop, I’ll lose everything.
This inner battle matches many ambitious, high-achieving individuals. It’s a modern echo of an ancient story—the Asura realm in Buddhist cosmology. The Asuras, or jealous gods, are potent but consumed by envy of the Devas, beings of divine grace and ease. Though they have their strength, the Asuras cannot see it; their eyes are fixed on what they believe the Devas possess—effortless peace, recognition, and the validation they crave. It’s not just jealousy—it’s an ache, a deep conviction that they’ve been unfairly excluded from what should rightfully be theirs.
Sound familiar?
The Modern-Day Asura
You don’t need to believe in ancient mythology to see how this plays out. It’s the colleague who burns out trying to outshine everyone at work. The friend who seethes when others succeed. The constant scrolling through social media, where every post feels like a reminder of what you lack.
Living as a modern Asura means believing that your worth is tied to your achievements—and that someone else’s success diminishes your own. It’s exhausting, unsustainable, and often deeply lonely.
The Toll of the Battle
This constant striving comes at a cost: chronic stress, burnout, strained relationships, and a gnawing sense of inadequacy. No matter how much you achieve, it’s never enough. The satisfaction is fleeting; the fear of failure always looms.
In therapy, I often see this mindset. Clients hope to learn mindfulness or productivity strategies to “fight better,” finally conquering their insecurities and becoming the Deva they imagine themselves capable of being. But here’s the truth: the battle itself may be the problem.
Transforming the Struggle
Breaking free from the Asura mindset doesn’t require abandoning ambition – it demands transforming our relationship with achievement. Consider these questions:
What lies beneath your drive to achieve? Examine whether your ambitions spring from genuine passion or fears of inadequacy. Understanding this distinction can reveal whether you’re running toward meaning.
How do you meet failure? Notice your internal dialogue when plans falter. The harshest battles often rage within our minds. Can you extend the same compassion to yourself that you would offer a struggling friend?
What would it mean to appreciate your journey? Your path is uniquely yours, shaped by challenges and triumphs that belong to no one else. Instead of measuring progress against others’ highlights, can you honor the wisdom earned through your struggles?
Can you find peace in motion? The Devas’ apparent ease may be an illusion – perhaps their grace comes not from the absence of effort but from acceptance of the journey. What if fulfillment exists not in some future achievement but in the present act of growing?
The Light Within
The tragedy of the Asuras isn’t their strength or striving—it’s their blindness to their light. Power may lie not in becoming something else but in awakening to what they already are, awakening to what is.
The Asura mindset — striving relentlessly while never feeling like enough — is one of the most common patterns I see in high-achieving professionals. If you recognize yourself in this post, therapy can help you understand what’s driving the battle and find a more sustainable relationship with ambition and success.
Schedule a consultation with Dr. Michael Brustein, PsyD.
Dr. Michael Brustein is a licensed NYC psychologist specializing in anxiety and depression therapy for high-achieving professionals in New York City. Using an integrative approach that combines psychoanalytic insight with practical strategies, he helps executives and professionals understand the hidden costs of constant worry and perfectionism. His practice focuses on helping clients move from symptom management to deep, lasting transformation.